So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
