But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
