Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
