but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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