week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
