he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
