she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
