So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
