Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
