He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
