My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
