I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
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The air was thick with penises
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
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No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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