so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
