I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
