used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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