saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
