I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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