Joe is yelling at the trees again.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
