Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
