Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
