So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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