Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
