you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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