Non-Jews are for practice
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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