Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
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this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
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Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
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