Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
