dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
