whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
