Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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