He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
