Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My ATM looks so different sober.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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