I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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