I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
