It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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