I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
