Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize