it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
