Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize