About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
