Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
