I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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