so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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