You can't motorboat a personality
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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