Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
