we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
