I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize