I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you have to choose: penises or morals?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
