It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
