I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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