after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
