WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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