it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
