I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize