I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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