therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
