im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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