You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
