I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
how can u be prego again
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
