Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
