Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
