the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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