Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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