We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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