he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
