It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
